Perfect mornings go with coffee, quietness, sunshine, a sleepy cat, and a chubby baby. More on that later.
It has been two years since my last post–crazy! Since then I have moved across state lines and had a baby. Randomly today I had an overwhelming desire to write. Maybe it is just a good atmosphere for thoughtfulness. My recent life has been a whirlwind, with my brain constantly shuffling thoughts and decisions and goals like a manic casino card dealer. I think in the calm of the morning I am having a precious moment in the center of the potter’s wheel. I am tired from the spinning, but feeling a little re-centered. (Ha! Did you get that clever analogy? I am proud of myself). Also I am drinking coffee from a wonderful, handmade coffee mug that makes me think about pottery.
My current ruminations are about the idea of Control. To continue the pottery wheel analogy–maybe the essence of life is standing in the center of a massive, spinning piece of clay that is closing up around you (in a scary way) but also making an elegant piece of art that is too big for you to completely comprehend, because you can only see the inside. And on the one hand, it’s stressful to feel like you can’t influence the shape or design; but at the same time you are in this safe place in the middle that is much more preferable to being in the crazy-spinning-wall part, which would throw the whole thing off center and ruin everything. Maybe it’s not as static as that either–the struggle, or part of life that we can control is the actions we take to try to get back to the middle. Because it’s all spinning and stuff, so it’s hard. Ha! I think that’s about all I can get out of that.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. We have no apparent control over our lives, and yet we have immeasurable control in the ways we respond to things we can’t control. Also related is the quote by a very wise person: “How infinitesimal is the importance of anything I do, but how infinitely important it is that I should do it.”
Whatever I have done, or not done, has led to a very pleasant moment at this time. It seems like a small moment, but it’s a gift. I love my baby. I love warm sunshine streaming through the window, and the rolling hum of a kitty purr. I hope everyone has moments like this in their lives, especially during the confusing, difficult recent events in our dear country. When surrounded by chaos and madness, things beyond our control, moments like this provide strength and perspective.
-Emily Dickinson
Poor Hannah 